累。。。。。。。。

刚才一醒来头还是痛的，以为一觉醒来就社么都会忘记结果还是一样。
昨夜逼自己睡可是怎么也睡不着，在床上翻翻伏伏了好久才睡着结果还是睡不好。
做了一连串的梦，好乱，更本都没休息到，
起来梳洗好却没胃口吃早餐，一直在想着回家，
完全没为明天的考试准备，
我。。。该怎么办！！！
谁能把我打醒吗。。。
我真的好想回家，我想回去为外婆上柱香，好想，就算只是回去上了想再回来我也愿意！！！

外婆。。。再见！！！

2009年4月25，8.45pm外婆离开我们了。我没见到外婆最后一面，原定今天考完试就回家可是我没做到。我后悔没有回去，我后悔，好像现在回家可是妈妈却要我星期一才考完试才回，我好想回去。。。

复杂的心情

每个学期必须面对的战斗昨天终于拉开序幕了，
很想把每个科目都尽量考到好成绩所以大约一星期多前已开始准备，
就在first paper开始的前一天我收到了个坏消息，
妈妈告诉我外婆已经不行了，随时会离开我们，
听带着消息我脑袋一片空白，不知在这非常时期我该如何面对。
知道消息至今已经是第三天了，
在这三天里， 我很害怕听到家里或爸妈打电话来的手机铃声，
我害怕拿起电话听到的是坏消息，但幸好的是妈妈始终都没说社么，
只是吩咐我要专心，别让别人看扁。
其实请我也害怕爸妈会为了不影响我考试心情而对我撒谎，
毕竟九年前爸妈也对当时在大学应考的姐姐隐瞒了婆婆离世的消息，
我不想当第二个姐姐，
如果外婆真的怎么了，我至少也想见外婆的最后一面。
其实从知道这坏消息时至今，我一直有着自私的想法，
我期望外婆能为了我熬到我考完试为止，但是我知道我没用能力去掌控这一切，
妈妈也一直劝我这是无法勉强的，
我真的希望能见上外婆，
让我专心考完试先好吗。。。
阿弥陀佛，求求你。。。

我的挚爱。。。立杰！！！

我要的幸福。。。很简单！！！

我找到了。。。。

爱你的全部，

不介意所谓的条件与眼光。

只要是你，

就是我的幸福。。。。。

爱你，

不是瞬间，

而是永远。。。






我的最爱。。。
永远都是你，立杰!!!
muakss。。。

无怨的青春

在你年轻的时候 如果你爱上一个人
请你 一定要温柔对待他
不管你们相爱的时间有多长或多短 若你们能始终温柔地相待
那么
所有的时刻都将是完美无瑕的美丽
若不得不分离 也要好好地说声再见
也要在心里存着一份感谢
感谢他给你一份美好的回忆
长大后你才会知道 暮然回首的霎那
没有怨恨的青春才会无遗憾
如山岗上那静静的满月
我的朋友 若你现在拥有爱情
记得不要让爱情有流泪受伤的时候
我始终觉得爱情若太多的泪水 幸福会越少
若你现在正处于追求的阶段
记得要用感谢些 不要让肯定等太久
喜欢一个人不是罪 爱上一个人没有错
但你绝对要对你的行为负责
所以说 也不是每个人都承受得起喜欢或爱上的那份‘烂漫’
愿你在爱情的国度里觅得真爱。。。

stress...tired...dissapointed!!!

this semester is totally a semester that makes me crazy, so much of assingment and test that come in the same time...
i'm really fail in managing the time for everythings, i know time is precious but i always waste it in doing those unmeaningful things.
i'm really dissapointed on my own, although most of the assignment are done in a group but i felt like cannot help much in doing it and depending it o others. i hate myself like that, i know if i want to try then it must can done but i always play around!!! Y i can't use my time in the meaningfull task?
and now the semester is coming to the end, i'm now trying to di everything based on my schedule, hopefully it is still not too late for me to do all of it!!!!
i'm now really tired and sad...because i have to separate from my roomate who stay with my for the past 2 years, it is hard for me to find a friend that can play around and share all my things together. ROOMATE, i really hope that u can stay with me in the same room until the end of the university life but it seems like impossible dy because u are soon moving to another college that really far from ours. y the officers of our college done all this stupid things??? i'm now felt disappointed to them....ROOMATE, hopefully we can still the same after u moving to the other college, take care!!!

THANKS, MY BELOVED PERSON...

dear, thx a lot...
thx for accompany me when i'm sad,
thx for be with me for this few weeks when everthings goes bad...
thx for the things u had done for me jz to cheer me up,
thx to make me as the complete people when i'm abnormal...
thx a lot,
i don't knw what i can do for u,
the only things i can do for u is LOVE...
dear...thx for all those advises,
i'll keep it in my mind....
dear... thx for the belated present from u!!!
dear...thx for everythings!!!!

SORRY...

i knw i always dominated the people,
i'm sorry for this....
i knw i always makes people hate at me,
i'm sorry, frens...
sorry for everythings i had done,
sorry....

SUFFER...

granny, how are u now???
i knw u are suffering for the illness n i can't do anythings,
the doctor told us is time to let u knw the truth but we can't do it,
maybe because of our selfishness,
maybe we afraid to lose u when u knw the truth,
that day when i went back,
what i had seen was made me very sad,
u can't even walk well, can't even eat well, sleep well...
i really sad when i saw it,
mum also sad n can't sleep well,
as the daughter to my mum n grandchild for granny...
i pretend like nothing happen,
because i can't let both of the person i care knw i'm also sad,
but i really can stand it in the night time,
i cried many times in the midnight,
it is the only way i can release my emotion,
there is many things i need 2 do but i put it away,
i really afraid that any moment from now there is bad news from there,
i afraid that i can't stand for any bad news,
maybe i'll crazy o mad,
i knw i'm abnormal now....
plz god...plz bleesed my granny to live longer for my selfishness,
plz let me complete what i need to do first,
i really can stand for it.....
plz.....GOD!!! :(

my uni life...

this is the 4th semester in utm already...quite like the life in here, can learn many things.
must be independent, everythings need to do on my own but i like it.
the most happy thing that i had in here is that i 'earned' the friendship. i like to be with my roomate bcoz she always feel happy n makes the people around her also very happy. we like to share all the things together, we even like to cook delicious food in our room...haha!!! but is illegal one lah...haha!!!
i very enjoy the life, this is a very different experience from staying in my home with my parents!!! (",)